so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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