I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
