Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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