sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
