i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Green mimosas i think yes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
