Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
