stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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