We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
