Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
