There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
