i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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