pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
