i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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