He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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