Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
