don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
