You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
