I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
