So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize