I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Randomize
