pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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