I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
