Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize