That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
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