i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
