Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
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BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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