how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
