While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
