hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize