UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
