new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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