Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
