Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Are we still banned from the library?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just want nice things and good sex
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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