Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
