She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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