She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
