why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
