I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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