I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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