There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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