nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
