I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
