so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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