I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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