Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
