"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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