This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize