I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize