At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
