Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
