Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
