oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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