Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
