Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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