I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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