hotel room ftw
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
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We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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