She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize